Quote:
Originally Posted by 7tattoos
Hello everyone, my name is Walter and I have been dealing w' denegerative disc's since 2004/05. Have had microdiscectomey couple years ago, that did help the sevre pain associated w' my herniated S1-L5 disc, but the degeneration has progressed further. I have gone through an epidual steriod injection but that only helped that morning. Will not take any pain killers.... I do not want to become an addict.
No help from AISH disability, and my Dr. focus's on my depression more than my pain or disability. Dr Grace Lee ( my family Dr) does not support my use of marijuana as a pain therapy..... so I sit and hope for death every day of my life. I will not kill myself, but pray for an early demise. No one is offering any alternatives (like ADR surgery). But when your poor, there is no help. I see this now and feel as if no one is taking my disability seriously. I am also a survivor of years of physical, emotional and sexual abuse.... "this is what my Dr. focus's on"... Not my pain, or my inability to really do anything physical. So whats left.......
Peace
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7Tattoos, condolences on your situation and welcome to the group.
First off you should know that depression/anxiety has a very high comorbitity with chronic pain - in fact most of the top pain clinics have psychological services such as CBT or mindfulness therapy etc. to help with that - so you are not alone on this board struggling with both. The second thing you should know is dealing with the pain will offer significant improvements in the depression department and I can attest to that personally.
Thirdly there are patients on here who have had one-level ADR in Alberta who are doing well. You should scour the boards for their names and message them to find out who their doctors are etc. one such patient is CanadianDean and he seems like a standup guy (no pun intended) and could probably offer some pointers.
Fourthly I am going do differ from Lillyth here and say you should compartmentalize your depression and your back pain when dealing with Doctors. Telling a Neurosurgeon you are taking drugs and have a history of abuse raises red flags that may make them refer you to counselling BEFORE you have surgery. Stick to the issue that a specific doctor has - if you are dealing with a Neuro or an Ortho talk about chronic pain and how it is ruining your life and about your back - leave the other stuff out of it (or downplay it) or you may not get taken seriously (in that domain).
Fifthly - I highly recommend you seek counselling (if you aren't already) for a few reasons. It will help you feel at least a little better if you get the right combination of meds (not narcos) including some anti-depressants that help with pain. It will also demonstrate to your back doctors that you are taking that aspect seriously and it will prevent them from just dumping you off. Lastly it sounds like you are in crisis if you are talking about wanting to die this is a VERY serious sign that you are in a deep depression and could do something to harm yourself (even if you don't think that you might).
Best of luck, I know how hopeless things can seem, but if you are in Alberta you are in a lucky spot in that it is one of the few places in Canada where you can get an ADR surgery, you just need to find the right doc.