Hey Mariaa,

Wow,if your thoughts and emotions were cream, I'd be willing to bet you'd be churning butter out your ears right about now!

I can see the scales in your mind already: husband's support (clunk, down it goes), offer of a kind and generous loan (BIG CLUNK, one side now entrenched in the ground)...then the uncertainty about the result and the realization that we can, despite our own and science's best efforts, actually get worse (creaking back up the other way...). Looking about dead even right now, innit???

Mariaa, I've seen and appreciated the calm reason in your posts since I arrived here, and checking out that 'gold member' status, I don't think there's anything I can say that you don't already know, so just REMINDING YOU, lol:

Fear (even terror) is normal. The thoughts will never stop spinning, but they'll slow down over time and things WILL become clearer until you finally get to 'your' decision.

Until they do, empty the Confusion Bucket here as soon as it fills and don't hesitate to follow it up with a chaser of Rant N'RAve whenever needed!

Thinking of you,

Trace