[rosedee]

I have been building up to introducing myself since signing on here a month ago. But trying to summarise 30 year history of problems (I’m now 51) and current situation for signature has been very hard, as well as working out what to say to introduce myself. I’ve been working on it for ages!! Anyway, decided to jump in……….

Have found reading through postings really helpful in many ways and am so pleased to have found this site. The welcome emails from Harrison and Alastair were so nice to receive and did make me feel welcome! I also had some very helpful correspondence with Alastair - thank you.

As a result of reading people's opinions on different surgeons I decided to get another opinion from Mr Lam, whom I am seeing for a (private - due to long wait on NHS) consultation on 11th January. It seems a fortunate coincidence that I live in his NHS catchment area. Although I felt a lot of confidence in Mr Sutcliffe, who I saw in the summer, he no longer works on the NHS and I've had problems with my back for far too long for anyone to insure it! To have the surgery he's proposed privately I would have to borrow it through an increased mortgage on my house. As I'm medically retired, I would prefer to avoid that. Equally, if I am going to have more surgery on my back its got to be with someone experienced and whom I trust and have confidence in.

I don't even want more surgery!! After my surgery in 1982 I vowed I would never have another operation on my back again ever, because it was such a horrendous experience. I had refused fusion when it was first suggested in 1995. But in 2000 after 18 months of not being able to move I felt little choice but have the fusion. Now, after 2 years even worse that I was then, I feel again little choice but to see if more surgery will help. If I don’t I will always wonder and my life is too restricted to keep going like this if there is a possibility of improvement.

I don’t expect miracles – I’ve had problems for too long to believe anyone who offers them. Where I was 2 years ago was not a great place to be and my life was severely restricted, but it was MUCH better than this! I feel quite nervous about seeing Mr Lam, because it feels like so much rests on it. Also, I dread yet another assessment.

Over the years osteopathy and Pilates and other exercises have kept me going and I’ve avoided doctors as much as possible – every medical procedure I’ve ever had has added to my problems (or, at best, had minimal or no impact). But I Really want to be able to go for a walk in the park, let alone other things.

Had, of course, various medication trials, but the anti-epileptics (last one Pregabalin) cause horrendous side effects; Fentanyl only helped a very small amount before causing major oedema; currently trying MST – up to 60 mg morning and night. It is helping my leg pain, but doing very little for my back, although I sleep better. And my ankles, feet and calves are swollen! Would be very interested in any info re doses. I had a bad time coming off the Fentanyl, so am keen not to stay on morphine longer than necessary if it isn’t going to do enough to improve my pain levels significantly – as it is I can’t get through the day without a sleep and, of course, have very bad constipation! If it is going to have a significant effect, should it be doing more by now?

I think I’d better stop ranting on – apologies for such a long intro and do hope I haven't bored everyone to sleep, but ………….

Happy New Year to everyone