[drewrad]

Just my two cents re the 'right thing to do'. You will never get such reassurance, nor would you want it, from a doctor. You get it strictly from yourself first, and the doctor is merely a confirming echo chamber. They do not live inside your body. Only you do, and while pain can be subjective, it is your pain tolerance itself that you're either capable or incapable of living with in the end.

There's nothing predictive that you can place your chips on the table and bet on re any surgery. These are all qualitative decisions which are something that doctors are incapable of providing clear guidance on, unfortunately.

That said, there are a few outliers where this is not so by any outwardly observable means: caudal equine syndrome, bladder problems, loss of motor control of limbs(foot drop etc). Those are easy for any doctor to base a decision on since they are his liabilities also in a court of law. Short of that, us in the grey area must make these decisions alone. Sounds like you have a great wife though to help you along and confirm your own decision.