It's been awhile since I have been here. My N.P. did a "regular" lyme test and it was negative. I did get an appointment to an ENT and I was very excited about it for two reasons: The lyme, and biofilm testing and I was also hoping someone would finally tell me why my face is doing this crazy thing. I cancelled the appointment. After this last surgeon denied doing surgery on me I am sincerely convinced I will be wasting his time and mine.(I didn't say anything because I was so ashamed: He said a big reason was because some of the injuries were sustained by my late husband...
. You know, I didn't even seek this surgeon out. I NEVER even sent my MRI's to him and with all the problems I have had since I moved here I cancelled the first appointment I had and THEY contacted ME telling ME my situation was "dire". By phone and by letter. How he treated me upset me so much I couldn't make the appointment I had with a surgeon that uses the Mobi-C implant that week. I am bloody pissed off
. He KNEW when he walked into the room he wasn't going to do surgery so why make me drive 3 hours. And, How the
did he get my information in the first place?).
So, anyway. I guess I am negative.
I am so, so, so sad. My head is taking me to pretty scary places...I have not had any quality of life for several years. There's just no point anymore. I can't take it. I just can't take the constant rejection. It's not my fault my husband suffered from alcoholism after his 20 year career in the military. I tried so hard to get him help. I stayed by his side, and I am getting **** on from every direction and I honestly just can't take it anymore.
But, I will.
And they will keep enjoying abusing me.
I don't know how much longer I can hold out though. The pragmatic thing to do is make a small bucket list, do what I can physically do and then check out. It's only going to get worse.
Oh, and I just LOVE this. I had a feeling my pain doc was spying on me. So, I tested him. Sure enough, the son of a gun was spying on me. He tipped his hand, lied his pants offs. Oh, and he is also good friends with the surgeon that saw me.
Smiles.
HIPPA rights are a joke.
No, I am a joke. I am the
joke.
I have given up looking for a surgeon. I am going to get my face fixed. Screw my neck and the pain. I hate it. But, I would like to be able to see people and talk to people again. It gets very, very lonely for me. Terribly lonely.
Thanks for all of the EXCELLENT advice Harrison. You are a gem.