[David]

Anyone out there willing to share any insight / experience they might have with relationships falling apart, primarily due to chronic pain? (I apologize, as I might ramble for a bit)

I am really hesitant to write/share this, mainly because I am not sure it is going to help any.....

I certainly don't want to lay blame on her, but to a certain extent, I guess I need to vent a little bit.

In summary, I just had a 2 year relationship end quite badly. It was a long distance relationship to begin with (~300 miles), so I had a feeling to begin with that it would probably fall apart, eventually.

She broke it off a few months back, and wanted to remain "friends", which is a topic that I basically avoided, mainly because I didn't see how that was realistically going to work (the main reason being that I don't travel anymore unless it is work or medically necessary).

Well, a few days back, I made the "mistake" of posting on my blog about how I felt everything was over, and how I was moving on my life, and I got an email from her asking what the hell I was talking about.

The email conversation didn't go very well, and finally I decided to tell her why I felt the relationship ended, and explain to her that even with drugs, I was in serious pain that never really goes away (being borderline depressed doesn't help any either). That being said, I can understand from her point of view how I probably never opened up, and how my mood / attitude has deteriorated and really gotten worse over the last couple of years.

The thing that I really can't understand (and is probably the reason why I am writing) is the fact that she counter-attacked my reasons for the relationship ending, and clearly couldn't believe that chronic pain was (and still is) running my life (of course, take this with a grain of salt, since you are only hearing "my point of view").

Obviously, I am a bit sad about the relationship ending, because I really was hoping we could work things out, but I felt (again, from my point of view), that even though I was/still am withdrawn, that she decided to walk away from the relationship.

I have really tried not to blame my back pain on running my life, but I have to fully admit that the one thing in my life that has stopped me from doing anything in life that I might possibly enjoy is my constant back pain. I think like most of us here, my choices are:

a. No drugs, and lots of pain.
b. Some drugs, and some pain.
c. Lots of drugs, but you will probably not remember what happened during the course of the day.

I guess I should stop rambling. If anyone has made it this far, I appreciate you taking the time to read this.

Thanks.

David