[kimmers]

QUOTE=ADRADR;99726]Yes it is definitely hard to not get discouraged. I am naturally very worried for my future. It feels like I have lost my youth since I got discouraged about my recovery. I have since found a wonderful young lady, however I am having trouble pursuing a relationship because it feels like I will be out of commission for normal activities in the future if I can't get this fixed. It is very frustrating feeling like you will drag others down.

I am working on being more positive. My parents are trying to get me to see a psychologist but I can't afford it on top of trying to solve the disc issue.

About reading, I love Stephen King novels. I just finished Desperation. How did you like writing for a newspaper? The problem is that nowadays there's so little money in it unless you write for a major publication, and I can't afford a drastic salary cut. [/QUOTE]

ADR x 2,

It is easy to be discouraged but you just have to take one day at a time. In my case, it was a process and I had a lot of good days. That was before the lumbar surgeries, but I was always recovering from one procedure to another procedure. With the cervical spine problems, I have only had two ESIs and an MRI and a CT. The cervical spine problems are supposed to move slowly, but in my case it was a quick progression after the obvious symptoms. But a new study recently came out that indicated most cases are a slow progression with long, stable periods. Most cervical problems resolve, with only 5 percent resulting in surgery.
PT might work so give that your best shot.

Try not to think of it as your lost youth. I have "lost" almost six years but when I lamented to my children that I wish I was working during this time, my kids told me they were glad to have me at home. So I lost one thing and gained another.
What do they say? Adversity builds character.

I wouldn't put your life on hold. Sure pain might limit you but you shouldn't let it control you. (Easier said than done, I know.)
As for a psychologist, I started to go to one when I ended up in pain again a couple years ago, she has been helpful. It is good to talk to people who understand what you are going through. I got her name from a person who used to be on here this doctor specializes in chronic pain patients. But she is also a couples counselor among other things.
If you need to speak to someone face to face, maybe your parents will help you pay for it.

I haven't read much Stephen King, but I have read a lot about him as an author. I try to read different genres. I even read my daughter's young adult fantasy/sci fi books including the vampire ones. I really like murder mysteries and like Mary Higgins Clark and spy novels, like John le Carre's and Robert Ludlum's books. After watching the Pillars of the Earth, an HBO series, I got that authors books. Haven't tackled those yet.
My one page novel I started working on is a serial killer mystery.
As for newspapers, I did freelance, this was before I became more assertive and back then, there was a hiring freeze for three years. I decided to change careers then. I think it would have been easier if I had been a guy, because there was definitely a glass ceiling for me. And I wasn't making much money although I did win journalism awards.

Life changes. At one point, I wanted to work for Sports Illustrated, that would have been my dream job, but that was not practical after I had children. I kind of like it when, say at a party, there are guys talking sports and I jump in. I sure do get some stares. I follow all sports, but am a semi-expert in track and field and all aspects of running. Been to a couple Olympics, World Championships, several national championships and a lot of meets, from youth to beyond.
I am the one in my household watching football or March Madness. I just saw that the 2014 NCAA Basketball Regionals are going to be close by, so that is a goal to be healthy and go to those with my son as my daughter, who is thankfully, an NHL hockey fan, does not like basketball. Bummer.

So you never know why things happen. God's plan? I choose to believe that. Just concentrate on that light at the end of the tunnel.

Kimmers