Hello, my name is Hollyn (yes the 'n' is supposed to be there), I am a 30yo married mother of three boys. I want to start by saying how excited I am to have found this support group, it was the bright light in a very dark week for me.
My back pain all started kinda sporadically on and off while I was pregnant with my oldest child, 10yrs ago. I did not think much of it but looking back now I probably should have had it looked into. For almost 8years I went on like this. I would have debilitating back pain come at me suddenly for no apparent reason, would stay for a few days then vanish as fast as it had appeared.
My turning point occurred a few months after my youngest child was born. I was in the kitchen starting dinner and out of nowhere my back pain started again. I figured after a couple days it would go away again...like usual. Well it has been almost 2years now and not one day have I been without this pain.
After a couple months I realized I was getting worse and not better everyday. There were days I could not move in bed, forget trying to even get out of bed because the pain was so severe. It felt like someone was ripping my spine apart with the slightest movement. I also noticed that when I was able to walk my legs would buckle under me much of the time making me very unstable. I ended up in the ER after my husband saw me crawling on the floor in tears. I had my first MRI done a couple weeks later, and less than 2 weeks after that was given the first of two epidural steroid injections. I was in physical therapy, using a TENS unit and taking high doses of advil and vicodin to help with the inflammation and pain.
We then relocated in the midst of all of this. From MN to upstate NY, we are from the east coast so were pleased to be moving within driving distance to family. I started physical therapy up again right away, going a couple times a week. It felt good to be active in a controlled environment but after weekly PT sessions for over a year I was not feeling any better. My pain was not going away but I was getting adjusted to it because as a mom of three young kids I had no choice. My poor kids know that I am in pain daily, they can tell by the way I move or the grimace on my face and the fact that I cannot do much of anything with them. I am so tired of them having to hear about my back problems and limitation. And I especially hate when they get into trouble for not helping me when I am having really bad pain days, I want them to be kids and not feel responsible for my care.
Within the last couple months I have given up taking Celebrex, I did not feel any change during the months I was on it. I had facet injections that helped me slightly better for all of three days and then it was back to my usual self. I had another MRI that showed my back has only gotten worse since the last MRI a year ago, so I have stopped going to physical therapy. I have enough trouble affording the copay when I go, if it is not helping why bother wasting my money and time. I have DDD and a herniation at he L5-S1 level and have been told I need to ahve it replaced. My L4-L5 level does not look good either, I have a discography scheduled in a couple weeks to determine if that one needs to be replaced as well. Then I have the problem of having BCBS for insurance, it has been made very clear to me they will not cover this procedure cause they are stuck in the dark ages and consider it experimental and fusion a much better option. Well at my age I refuse to have fusion done and my doctor agrees saying he would not perform it on me. So now I am trying to appeal and am looking into getting insurance with Aetna long enough to have this surgery done.
I NMES/TENS unit which my insurance refuses to cover also, and a back brace that they did not cover either. And I am starting to feel like a druggie with the vicodin I take for pain, it hardly takes the pain away but makes me tired enough to not care for a couple hours. I have been given the lidoderm patch as well... I think that would be good if I needed to perform surgery on myself at home to numb the skin for the initial cut aside from that it does nothing to help me.
Living like this is hell and the fact that so many insurance companies think it best that I stay like this and suffer it sick. I chose to be a young mom so I could be active with my kids and I am the complete opposite thanks to my back. My husband jokes that I will be in a wheelchair in a couple years at the rate I am going. We laugh about it because there is no other option, but the thought it a scary one.
Anyway I guess I have typed more than enough for now. I look forward to meeting others like myself and seeing what has worked for some of you. I think this support group is wonderful, it is obviously very much needed by a lot of people that suffer the same pain.
