[Sandra D]

Originally Posted by kimmers

JJames,

I think I know you from somewhere.
Your name rings a bell, anyway.
Just wanted to say, Hang in There. Remember the cat, hanging for dearlife on a screen door?

I can relate to what you said: That back pain completely controls and ruins or diminishes every aspect of my life.
I am having problems after surgery when I should be back to a somewhat normal life. My pain increases and then decreases and I cannot make sense of it. I am pretty sure it stems from the level below my ADR but my MRI has just a bulge at that disc, L5/S1.
Since last night, my sciatica increased mainly in my right leg and I am wondering what is going on.
Like you, I have my surgeon appt coming up in April and I see my pain doc next week.
I am just trying to maintain things as normal as I can but I feel so disassociated from what I consider my normal life.
It is strange and I just want to have the pain decreased. I was speaking to my neighbor, who is a PT, and was stretching out my legs, about what was up with my back. She is not my regular PT and she asked me if I had been cleared to go back to work. Well, it is hard to tell people that there is no way I can work my regular job because I am having too much back and leg pain (plus there is the little thing about being terminated).

I think with back pain, people think you are ok as long as you are not using a cane, a walker or a wheelchair.
The problem is that I am far from ok. Sometimes, I can drive my car and then othertimes, I cannot get off the couch.
I was ok today but because of the sciatica, I was kind of limping. Later, after the PT treatment, I could walk without a limp but still when I was walking from a street to a sidewalk tonight, I tripped.
I go around everyday, saying, "ouch" or I grimmace. The back pain is not quite as bad as before surgery but it is getting there and the sciatica is a lot worse.
It is kind of ridiculous.

I hope you get some answers to your problems and you feel better as soon as you can. Don't be too hard on yourself. I know all this back stuff is a strain for my husband and children, but this is the way it is until I get some definitive answers.

K

Hi Kimmers, It's as if you are describing my life!! It's been almost four years since my injury and I have been unable to return to work. I own my businesses with my husband and he has had to continue without me. It has had such an impact on our lives both personally and professionally. I feel disassociated from everything around me too and its as if I have become my back. The first thing I am asked when meeting friends or family members is" How's your back?" It's absolutely the last thing I want to discuss Everyone is guilty of having at least one deadly sin and mine unfortunately is pride; so no matter how bad it is, I am always telling people that I am "fine", I try not to limp or struggle to my feet or complain if I can help it. The result however, is that no one can quite get it why I am not working, or why I don't want to socialize or why I spend so much time exercising or doing some other form of rehab. I am a non-drinker but perhaps you and I should just have a few and let the world go by? I find my best coping mechanism is not to plan ahead. I just do one day at a time. Get through today and then get through tomorrow for who knows, tomorrow we may dance?? Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Regards

Sandra D