[Alastair]

Do you suffer from B.A.G.S? You may not think you do, but read on!

When pain enters our lives we go through many changes and experience many different thoughts and emotions. Even many years down the line, having mostly come to terms with our pain, we can still be prone to periods of 'BAGS', especially if the pain flares up unexpectedly.

BAGS is uncomfortable, unpleasant and gets us nowhere, it's...

Bitterness
Anger
Guilt
Self-pity

To explain:

Bitterness that we cannot do the things we used to do.
Anger that someone or something let us down.
Guilt that we are letting others down.
Self-pity - that dreadful, depressing, self-defeating emotion that REALLY drags us down.

These negative feelings block us from helping ourselves and actually cause us even more pain than we need suffer, both emotionally and physically. This is because negative feelings cause physical tension which, in turn, causes more pain. So BAGS can become a vicious circle of -

Pain > BAGS > pain > BAGS > pain > ...

And the way through this?

To change your attitude - if the part of you that hurts was a small child or a pet animal you wouldn't feel any of the 'BAGS' emotions. You wouldn't hate or resent it, you would comfort it and find ways to help it.

You need and deserve nurturing too - and your pain is something that is just part of you. So instead of hating part of yourself, think instead,

"Part of me hurts. I need to take care of that part. What can I do to take care of that pain-part of me?"

By doing this you will begin to find your own power to take control of the situation and you will start to feel more positive and life will begin to improve. You will soon find the best way forward towards feeling happy again.

You can take care of your 'pain-part' in some of the following ways:

- No. 1 is Relaxation! If you don't already do so, DO take this as a 'wake-up call' to start now! If you need further ideas or advice, ask me, or try a relaxation tape - deep relaxation really does relieve pain! Try my own successful 'Natural Pain Relief' relaxation tape or CD. It accompanies my book of the same name, but can be used independently of the book. Write to me for more details (regret UK only).

- Deep and relaxed breathing.

- Pace your activities so you don't overdo things. Do things 'little and often'. Again, you can ask me for further details of how to go about this practically.

- Set goals and find new activities that you can do, even if only a little at a time.

- Exercise appropriate for your condition.

- Find a good support team - doctors, complementary therapists, family, friends, on-line groups.

- SMILE! Yes, we can still smile - and a little smile goes a long way. It makes you feel more peaceful and happy, it encourages others to smile back and everyone benefits from the inner chemical production of 'happy hormones' produced by the simple act of smiling. Even if you don't feel like smiling, 'fake it till you make it' - your subconscious will still react in the same way and you will gradually feel better.