Introduction - Husband's ADR surgery soon now!

[Sarah]

Hello to everyone here,

I have been 'lurking' on the board for a while now, although we have had lots of help from Alistair via PMs/calls, thanks again Alistair!

Well, I thought it was about time I posted to introduce us as my husband Dominic's surgery is coming up soon now.

Dominic has suffered with back pain for over 10 years. It has worsened over recent years and he has seen various consultants over nearly 3 years. He has tried all the physio, hydrotherapy type programmes and has had facet joint injections and a nerve root block injection. Nothing has helped.

He has DDD at L3/4 and L4/5. From his recent MRIs the lower level has really deteriorated over the 2 years since the first MRI scan to the point where ADR at this level is not now an option.

He is due to have surgery with Mr Lam on Monday 20th, he is going to have a hybrid operation of a fusion at L4/5 and a ProDisc ADR at L3/4.

I know this is the right thing for him and I am very confident in Mr Lam. I have been reassured by seeing Mr Lam on tv recently and from reading all the posts here from other patients of his but I can't help feeling worried sick about the whole thing.

I want to be strong for my husband and for my son who is almost 2 but I am very nervous. Dominic is nervous but he is also very excited, he feels that this is going to be a new beginning for him and he is looking forward to all the things he will be able to do without pain once he is recovered. He has worked really hard in the run up to the op and he is in really good shape, lost weight, is fit and well. I am proud of him.

How can I help myself to calm down so that I can help him? And does anyone have any practical tips for the whole process? We will all be travelling down to London from Cheshire on Sunday and staying down there for the time he is in the hospital. Fortunately my mother is coming with us to help with my little boy so that I can be at the hospital as much as necessary.

Thanks to everyone for making this forum such a welcoming and supportive place.

Thoughts and prayers to Lynsey whose bravery has inspired me to post at last! I hope she is doing well.

Best regards

Sarah

[Harrison]

Sarah,

There are many things one can do (the patient or the spouse) to find peace and strength. In no particular order, here are a few of them.

1. Meditation. Find a quiet place: a serene place in nature, a church or even a quiet place in your home. Pray or mediate in silence.

2. Breathe! Many of westerners take this for granted, and there are many things to learn about breathing “out with the old, in with the new.” When coupled with meditation, both can be very powerful, as well as healing.

3. Talk! Other than your loved one, do you have a support system? We may drive each other crazy with our chronic pain, so having support outside the family system can help greatly (this forum can help with some of this). You may want to private message people on this forum too, if you think they can help you with your specific questions. (Specificity & brevity encourages responses.)

4. Exercise. Whatever you can do, do it! Even a walk helps. If you are the healthy one, consider some type of aerobic exercise.

5. Research & plan for recovery. I found that by answering the “tough” questions about surgery, it helped ready for me the event (thus, this forum). You can help your spouse by thinking through the ways he can prepare for a smooth recovery. Here’s a link with information resources on recovery: http://www.adrsupport.org/post_op.html. Check out the paper I wrote a few years back, “Recovering From ADR Surgery - One Patient’s Holistic Perspective.”

Hope this helps! Good luck with all!

[Sarah]

Harrison,

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply, I appreciate your support.

Thanks for the link, I have read your paper and will keep it to hand for reference.

I will keep you posted with how things go.

Best regards

Sarah

[cathydownunder]

Hi sarah,
Just want to wish you and Dominic all the best for his surgery.I can see how he's excited, with the prospect of an improved life ahead, who wouldn't be!
His story is somewhat similar to mine, progressive pain and deterioration over many years, unfortunately I also have scoliosis thrown in the mix.
I also had a hybrid surgery, disc replacement at L4/5 and fusion at L3/4 last July. I can tell you the first few days/weeks can be rough emotionally and physically. But if anyone asks would I do it again, the answer is always YES.
Once again,wishing you well.
Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions, of course I can't help you with anything male related ha ha.
Cathy

[Alastair]

Hi Sarah,
I`m sending warm and positive thoughts for Domanic for Monday. I will talk to you Tuesday as arranged
Best
Alastair

[livjoyful]

#3 was a God send for me. I know I didnt want to complain to my family about pain anymore...and to be honest as hard as they tried they just didnt get it. I am and will be forever grateful to this forum. It really helped and still helps to vent what you are feeling...emotionally as well as physically.

[fennash\'s other half]

Hi Sarah
My name is Colin I understand your fears and thoughts very well people tend to forget the pain of the partner and the strainth that they HAVE to provide my wife Lynn (fennesh ) has just had a two level fusion on 8th Nov she is up and about laughing and jokeing, I havent seen that for about two years which is magic but we had a roller coaster ride with post op complications, I didnt have any one to confide in so carried the lot which was hard (loads of tears) in the quiet times, but the one thing that kept me going wes this forum by replying to alistairs pm's to Lynn until I decided to regester for myself, I am still a relative forum vergin but it has helped so much to talk and cant praise it and the people that have helped me and Lynn through all of this i will carry on with it becouse I want to give back that which others have given to me.
we both wish you luck and a speedy recovery for your husbands op please let us know the outcome and dont forget the forum is here for you as well as your husband.
best wishes
Colin/Lynn.

[Sarah]

Thanks, Cathy, Alastair, Livjoyful and Colin, to all of you for your support! I am very grateful.

We are all ready, new PJs packed, plenty of books and dvds to watch for Dom, big box of chocs and bottle of lavender oil and rescue remedy for me! Taking the train tomorrow morning and then hopefully having a nice afternoon in London before the op on Monday.

I have had a few tears with a couple of friends over the past 2 days but am trying to keep it all together now.

I should be able to access the forum whilst down there so will try to keep you posted. The op is early afternoon on Monday so I would be grateful for your thoughts and prayers.

Thanks to all,
Sarah