Accused of Hypochondria

badneck · #1 07-25-2005, 04:47 PM

I'm wondering if I'm alone in being accused by (supposedly) loved ones of being a hypochondriac. I have a multi level problem with notable spine damage and much pain. Here at home, I am accused of being a hypochondriac. No matter how many doctors tell me immediate surgry is necessary, my husband believes a little physical therapy is the answer.He has had a bad back, too and believes they all just get better. Anyone else?

Jefferson · #2 07-25-2005, 05:04 PM

BAdneck, be strong, emotionally strong in all that you say and do. Everything that you say, do so in love, temperence - patience and love. Be the same person that you have always been (As difficult as pain is on all of us...) it is / has been important for me to remain temerant or I have been blamed to 'not' be disabled in my lower back. I belong in a very tight circle of friends in neighborhood and church and my dearest family and new marriage can fall apart just this fast because (I am an iiritable man) And how fast would it be to gainfully relate to one another here on this website?
Just thought I would make a point. People whom have like/like situations are much easier suited to be with one another but that is why you are not with us and you are matched iwth your family today! You can do it.Your "Mulity-Level C-Spinal issuea are real.
Possibly sit down with your films and calmly discuss that with your closest family member (husband?) and make sure he feels the love that you have and how impotant this is for you. Let him know that this is creating an insecurtity on your behalf anbd you want to continue to feel his love and support without feeling like a hyprocondriac (but don't put that in HIS lap, let him know it is how "you" are feeling - therefore he will not get defensive.

I am sure if you pary about this and doen in the right spirit he will understand that your pain, disability and the trials that you are going thru will soon be sustained by not only him but yet his assocu=iates and surrounding memebers.
This is a hard go, I feel for your situation. I lost my wife because she never understand these simple priciples, pain, immobility and losing my career as the breadwinner.

Today I am attempting to calmy describe the events that car accident victims go thru, hopefully your garden will be cleaner to crawl out of, Peace to you. Pardon my spelling

Harrison · #3 07-25-2005, 06:12 PM

Posted because of duplicate topic:

Posted by badneck (Member # 472) on July 25, 2005 05:04 PM:

I'm wondering if I'm alone in having (supposed) love ones accuse me of hyponchondria in the face of a severe diagnosis requiring immediate surgery. My husband equates spinal damage with his back problem solved by physical therapy. I know, it's sick, but am I alone?

Posted by florihupf (Member # 10) on July 25, 2005 05:39 PM:

No, I heard all wiered kind of explanations from people.

Also, I observed that people, once they have some back pain on thier own, are freaking out how intense it is...

Laura C · #4 07-25-2005, 07:07 PM

Dear Badneck,

I understand your frustration. I have been thru numerous operations for many different things such as a spleenectomy (age 3) for spherocytosis, meckels diverticulum and appendectomy, numerous ovarian cysts that burst, carpal tunnel release (R&L), thumb release (R&L), hysterectomy and now my back is falling apart. To make matters worse, I have a prothrombin blood clotting disorder where I have had 3 deep vein thrombosis - all of this at a very early age. My dad and mom live in NY and I am in CA - I need my mom to come out to help when I have the surgery. Well, my dad is in complete denial about the whole thing. He doesn't even discuss it with me. The real kicker is that my fact joint deformity (it is missing) is exactly what my dad had. Sometimes I am embarrassed about how many things that I have had wrong with me - fortunately, my husband is very supportive. We laugh because if anyone mentions that they have an ailment (especially their back), I tell them that they cannot trump my back. All kidding aside, I do agree with the post from Jefferson. In all factions of life, many people do not know what a situation is like until they have experienced it. Hang in there and try to have some nice talks with your husband, maybe even show him some of the posts. Good luck.

ans · #5 07-25-2005, 09:53 PM

They don't get it - especially that one can have good days, be ambulatory, and the next day be in agony. Nor do outsiders have any grasp of the intricacy of back pain anatomy/physiology. I constantly have to face my nice but crazy neighbor who swears by Sarno that it's all in the head.

We understand.

djscal · #6 07-25-2005, 10:25 PM

Sarno really pisses me off!

Dan

Jefferson · #7 07-25-2005, 10:31 PM

Nice to see so many people that have so many people that do not get it, My very own high priced attoney is laying it on the line with me because he haccnot understand people like us and he (this is the entire problem dern his hide, I forgive him still) he used to sue the insurance labor commissions before comeing out here for hire...He is now not beleiving people like us. We are "GIVEN" meds by Docs so that we "can" have a life and go do things...The insurance commision will come out and get a film of you doing something sinful like pushing a shopping cart, eww weee, I know how difficult that looks...Especially if you have been telling you doc that you have been in bed sueffering, Well sister I am on Oxycontin, you know the stuff that is killing people left and right? Well, that is also the same stuff that gets us out of that bed and gets the bread and butter to the table when my wife is working 14 hours a day and I have to do something that looked productive, so I went shopping, a lot less than my mainstreem job as an engineer but I got to talk to Sally and Bob at the Produce department...So, they take these films and they get their littel cases...Ewww, THAT is what makes us hypocondriacs to these other family and neighbors....

I did that for you for a reason. Th sin is on their heads. It is their bad for not understanding who you are as a person. We feel bad when we limp - we feel bad when we cannot get out of bed and we cry ourselves to sleep because we want to work again. That sin is on these people that do not comfort us. But please remember, it is also ouor sin to dern them back, We must have the love to overlook how they treat us for they not know. Pain is a very hidden and un - understandable thing, We live in a very throwaway world today you guys. My very own wife moved out temporarily. na nana I am irritable. Yes I am, It is very true. My S1 L5 is terrible, me and my wife cannot even sleep in the same bed,, The case is closed because I walked out and saved my young sons car from being tampered with and they caught me on tape outside (I will do it again too) I cannot speak to others ALL of the time the way that I wish, but I love all of you. I love. I just cannot walk. I cannot walk the walk, the way that he asks me too. This is my test you see.....I will try just as hard as I can.

My prayer for those around me is that you too - Can remeber that we are only here but for a moment, We have a choice to make! Mine is not to make my loved ones miserable around me. THAT is why you will see my posts about the withdrawal, I am done, I am off. I am choosing to get off of the medications because I think they have ruined who I am as a man. I used to be funny. This is not a funny situation here that any of us arein...not any longer, we all are here as brothers and sisters because we love one another and we have a common place to be. Let us use each other and get 'there!"

I will say that I am sorry for taking you thread too far from its area of discussion. I offer you peace in the sanity of area of discussion when it come time to speak to family: long suffering, patience, love, submission, it can be done, we all know that we understand the way ; sometimes others around us - The injured ones just might not: So let's give a lil!

amanda · #8 07-26-2005, 10:53 PM

I think that most men who suffer from lower back pain as you do, are in the same boat. I say, do what you can to borrow the money to get fixed! Go to Dr. Zeegers. He will get you well. Stop the pain and suffering, and begin the rest of your life!
Hang tough...you do have a solution in ADR.